we all know those compliments,
we all know those compliments, and resent them! They are certainly not rewarding. Of course, you may ask,
‘Why on earth should I reward someone for just doing what they should?’
Forget should?s and ought?s. It?s simple. You reward them because you want them to do it again.
* Be rewarding most of the time, then some of the time, then just occasionally.
If you?re too obviously rewarding, every single time, people may well suspect they are being manipulated! Plus, as soon as you stop rewarding every time, they may rather quickly stop doing what you want. Imagine, your new husband brings you flowers every weekend without fail. Then, one week, he misses. Has he fallen out of love? Met another woman? Whereas, if he just sometimes, at unpredictable intervals, turned up with roses, you?d feel great when he did but he could miss out for a long time before you began to feel unappreciated.
*
Having found some appropriate rewards, you apply them as quickly as possible whenever the behaviour moves, even a little bit, in the direction you want.
You stay calm and pleasant but you don?t give attention to what you don?t want.
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